tirsdag den 5. februar 2019

Lykkens holdbarhed

Hans duft var det sidste minde,
der forlod lejligheden.
Overdøvet af beslutsomhed
og cigaretrøg.

Nostalgien holder mig i hånden i nat.
Vi deler en smøg,
mens hun fortæller historier om en tid
hvor jeg var frygtløs og naiv.

Dengang jeg tvang mig selv
til at træde på stregerne
og jeg omfavnede uvisheden
som en kær ven.

Jeg har forandret mig,
siden han væltede min verden,
men jeg smiler stadig helhjertet
til pigen i spejlbilledet.

Mit sædvanlige tilflugtssted
er forvandlet til en arrogant skyggesøster.
Hans ansigt er malet i fodaftrykkene
og i støvet fra hans guitar.

Erindringerne svæver under loftet
og sender mig et selvhøjtideligt blik,
når de får øje på mig i mængden.
Den dunkle stemning i baren er forduftet.

Gennem de stille tårer,
genkender jeg ham i navnløse gæster.
Savnet synker til bunds i min ølflaske,
og jeg tømmer den for ikke at miste.

Tænker tilbage på opfordringen om
at forære mine to bedste linjer bort.
Siden da er følelserne væltet ud gennem hånden
og jeg vil beholde det hele.

Jeg har ofte hvilet mig i fremmede senge,
og kun afsløret min øjenfarve i profil.
Få har efterladt mig med ar,
jeg ikke kan tænke mig ud af.

Stoltheden har bosat sig i mine læber,
forhindrer ham i at forlade mig for anden gang,
selvom jeg håber han opdager
mine små forræderiske hentydninger i det skjulte.

Styrken vi skulle have delt
mistede jeg med nummeret til garderoben.
Inden længe tager Vesterbro mig atter i hånden
og danser mig tilbage til duften af lykke.

tirsdag den 22. januar 2019

Hiding from a heartbreak

When nothing changes and everything feels different.
Four little insignificant words
that turns my world upside down.
I saw it coming, but I was so unprepared.

Your sincere attention dancing
with your intentions.
I can see that I hurt you.
Your eyes are a shade darker than before.

The distance we’ve been calling for
is crawling towards us.
You’re trying to protect us, her, them,
but I don’t like what’s coming.
You’re revealing a piece of your thoughts,
that I didn’t noticed before.

A glimpse of independence and a river of forbidden feelings are overpowering me
and I surrender to reality.
For once in my life.

My short fairytale has come to an end
and I know I’ve got to face the devil once again.
I wrote a letter to the good girl,
begging her to come back.
Unfortunately she’s gonna return any time now.
I know she’ll never let me see you.

The tears on my face is a reflection you don’t like,
but you taught me it is what it is.
Tonight I’m letting my guards down.
In a little while you’re gonna be a dear memory
of a time, that wasn’t mine. 

lørdag den 19. januar 2019

Waiting for patience

I'm waiting for him
want to surprise him.
I drink my beer and wonder
what he might wear tonight.
My heart skips a beat
when my phone rings.
It's my sister.
I tell her to call later.

An hour 'till showtime.
It's only been a week.
My feelings are obviously not aware
of that fact.
They're giggling around in my body
all the way up to my mouth,
just to escape in a smile.

Looking at my sleeping phone.
It's been two hours since he wrote me.
Missing a stranger is so confusing.

I finish my beer
playing with the unlit cigarette in my hand.
Imagining the forbidden kiss.
I want to confront the one
who keeps repeating that scene in my mind.
Can't concentrate
and my lightly blushed face reveals that.

The cold air helps me
clear my thoughts.
The relaxing smoke in my mouth
tells me to go home and be responsible.
I reach for my jacket.

His amazing brown eyes
catches mine in the crowd
and I know I'm not gonna leave
just yet.
Maybe I call in sick tomorrow.

torsdag den 17. januar 2019

Another addiction

He makes me forget the things
I dont want to remember
and the things I should keep in mind.
I've never been so attracted to a guy like him.
Mostly my fascination fades
when a guy shows interest in me.
This one gives me so much attention
and I can't get enough.
I feel like an addict
but I already smoke.

mandag den 14. januar 2019

Et farvel fra den anden kvinde

Jeg har lagt telefonen ved min side.
Kigger ud af det beskidte vindue
forsøger at få øje på månen.
En tåre løber ned af min kind
formår ikke at vaske samvittigheden væk

Jeg kan stadig dufte ham i min lejlighed
Hans kærlige berøring og det charmerende smil
er noget jeg har stjålet fra dig.

Askebægeret er for længst fyldt,
og spejler min egen selvforagt.

Jeg var uforberedt
Paraderne jeg normalt bærer så naturligt
var ubevidst blevet efterladt derhjemme.
Havde jeg bare vidst hvad den aften ville bringe
var jeg blevet hjemme.
Skånet mig selv - men mest af alt dig.

Jeg håber aldrig, du lærer mig at kende
for en del af ham vil altid kunne anes i mine øjne
og jeg ved, du vil genkende det.

Min fornuft har banket på de sidste par nætter
i aftes valgte jeg at lukke hende ind.
Med ituslået lyst og mascara på gulvet
fik jeg endelig fundet tilbage til mine værdier.

Hans kys brænder stadig på mine læber,
mens min krop gør sit bedste for at fortrænge.
Forelskelse er en sjælden gæst i mit sind,
og han kommer til at optræde i mine tanker for en stund.

Jeg slukker min cigaret i en tåre på gulvet,
og går en tur i Københavns nat.
Mine hænder bliver følelsesløse af kulden
og jeg beder til at det samme vil ske for mit hjerte
inden længe.

lørdag den 12. januar 2019

At vinde over fornuften

For kort tid siden følte jeg trygheden varme min kind.
Fornuften slår mig nu i ansigtet
som hagl på en sommerdag.
Hans insisterende charme
udfordrer intentionen.
Ærgrer mig over tilbuddet
jeg ikke tog imod,
mens hun klapper mig på håret
med ros i øjnene.

Han gør mig beruset med hans blik
og usikker når hans opmærksomhed fordufter.
Én enkelt berøring og jeg er atter fanget i hans spind.

Han er bange for at blive såret
ligesom mig.

Jeg bliver overvældet af hans nærvær.
Jeg er én blandt mange,
men den eneste i lokalet.
Jeg har givet ham magten
til at få mig til at forsvinde.

Intensiteten i hans øjne
og hans planlagte tilfældige berøring.
Jeg trækker vejret dybt
og beder fornuften tage hjem for i aften.

mandag den 7. januar 2019

The famous one


He’s just a man. Just another man.
I keep repeating that to myself, but as our eyes meet across the room
I’m not that sure.

I turn around and chat with the guy next to me. Try to concentrate about our conversation,
but the man at the stage keeps dancing around in my mind.
I take a sip of my beer and glance at him.
He’s so confident when he sings and the tall guy next to me notices that my infatuation is not for him
It doesn’t seem to bother him that much though.

I excuse myself to go have a cigarette, very aware, that I have to cross the room
right in front of the stage.
When he looks at me, I get a feeling of interest that’s been hiding for a long time.
He makes me lose the feeling of control, and I’m not use to that.
Instead of flirting with him, I look down and giggle like I did 15 years ago.
I yell at myself for being so insecure. I don’t recognize that side of me.

The cigarette is lit. I close my eyes and inhale the smoke. I can feel the calmness throughout my body.
Remember, he’s just a man. Just another man.
Until he looks at me again. I’m so drawn to him and it confuses me.
I get the sense that he’s dangerous for me to be around. My attention is only on him.

I put out the smoke and walk back to the bar.
He’s singing something about a woman’s body while looking directly at me.
My reaction makes him laugh and he’s struggling to find his way back to the lyrics.
I need another beer and politely thanks the bartender.

When I turn around, I see him coming towards me.
He’s so polite and intense. Very different from other experiences with the male gender.

When the break’s over, I begin to breathe again.
I don’t know what he is doing to me and my concentration is fading.
An overwhelming feeling of actually wanting to know this man, has taken place in my mind.
Every time he calls my name, I get more and more convinced, that this one won’t be forgotten, when I go home.
Not like the men, I’ve met before him.

When the concert’s over, he invites me for a drink, before he has to go home.
The way he talks make me smile, and he reads me like no one else does.
It’s a rare and very liberating experience for me.
He tells me things that I don’t think he talks about that often.

My smile fades on a certain subject, and I know he notices it.
For this one night, I won’t give it any attention.
Although I know, it’s waiting for me to confront in the morning.

I see some of his tells, and my confidence is finding its way back to me.
I think he likes that version of me as well. I smile and drink the rest of my beer.
I’m so attracted to this man, even though I know he’s not good for me.

We talk for hours before we finally decide to go home.
As I leave him, there’s no longer a doubt in my mind.
He is not just another man.
This one’s going to hurt me for a change.